End of 2019

It’s the last day of the year.
Somewhere between despair and numbness you’ll find me.
I left the desert a few years back, but why does it feel all suffocating again?

Like a willing victim, I let people use my manic brain and personality.
But when the depressive side of me is triggered out,
I am painted the monster, then left alone, uninvited, unwanted.

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s ok.
Praying one day, I’ll find a place I don’t have to run away from anymore.
Lord, take me home. I don’t want another year of misery again.

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